Friday, December 25, 2009

Rotting on christmas day
im so bored of waiting for something that im not sure about
so sianz
everyone in the house is asleep
well only me and mom is at home so means that only one person is sleeping
anyway
im bored but happy
i wish for excitement
i better be careful what i wish for
it may come to pass
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
sianz...
dont feel like playing games also
dont feel like doing sch work
just feel like talking. SIANZ

God bless

Going crazy at...
10:02 PM

Friday, December 18, 2009

Just received a call from alvin. Hahas ask me how to bugis from vivo. im surprised i can give such detailed instruction to him. Downloading some songs to put into my ipod now. 5 stars for great music.

Passing my holidays with a thanksgiving spirit. so excited for service tml.

God bless

Going crazy at...
2:26 PM

Sunday, December 13, 2009

wooooooooooo
im lucky im in love with my best friend

hahas yesterday service was great
they sang lucky!!!!
excited for cell later
^^

God bless

Going crazy at...
9:26 AM

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Helplessness
who will help me
Loneliness
who will help me
Betrayal
who will help me

The things i love in my life are gone.
The only things left are my tears and the pieces of my heart
I did a mistake and i can never mend it back
People change. They change to what they think is best for them
I changed too. I change to what i think is best for me
I lament everyday
I cry out to God everyday
Just take me away
I really dont have the perseverance to keep on fighting this fight
Nor do i have the faith to carry on
My friends are helping me
Bee, ken, vivian, darren, alvin.
I appreciate everything that u guys did
whether is is counseling or just listening
I aprreciate it. But whenever im alone the crushing feeling will come.
I know u guys love me. I love you guys too
I just feel really sad and helpless
I really tried to move on
I really did
But im not as strong as i used to think
In fact i realize how weak and broken i am
All i wanted was only to feel belonged to someone.
I am really chained.
But i dont wanna get out
I just want to linger in the sweetness of the past
I just want to foolishly imagine myself back to when i was happy
I just want to be in my own world where she loves me
Im sorry
i really find it hard to continue

Regret fills my heart
Sorrows surround me
Im beaten and crushed

Just foolishly longing
For you to be back
Back to my arms once again

Going crazy at...
1:02 PM

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Woah... Life is moving too fast... People are evolving right in from of me... Things are not the way they use to be

Losing the joy and hope again... Im really trying to be strong. but what is this feeling of abandonment in me...

Its really hard when everything i do turns out wrong
Its really hard when people lost respect for you
Its really hard to be happy

Im still doing my best to not stray into loneliness again
its really really very diffcult
Every passing second is a tormenting thought
Every passing second i need to confess God's word
Every passing second seems like forever to me

Believe in God
Trust in God
is what people tell me
I am trying
I do believe God has something better for me
But its really very very difficult to live this life now
im going crazy because of emotions and stress
People understand what i am going through but im still suffering alone
Why was i so stupid
Why was i so unappreciative
Why didnt i realize the goodness that God gave me
Why must i lose so many things then i realize i was wrong
Why was i so complacent
Why am i still in a nightmare

Thought my faith is tested by fire, it will be found to praise, honor and glorify God
This fire is really really hot, really really burning
I pray i pass the test
But im hurt and wounded during it
The cliche sentence: No pain no gain
im in pain and im gaining a little

God please take this torment away from me

God bless

Going crazy at...
3:10 PM